Fashion A-bomb - Pink Jean Jacket

I saw another fashion a-bomb on the CTA this morning.

A Man.
Wearing.
A Pink Jean Jacket.

Why? How did he even find a pink jean jacket in his size? Where did he even find one outside of 1987?

I can see wearing it for the irony, or the humor or something. Actually, no I can't.
He couldn't work the pink jean, because in truth, no one can. Not a woman. Not a hipster. Not a 5-year-old girl. Pink jean should have died with the career of Tiffany.

Playgrounds are Plazas Too

I went biking on Sunday along the river lake path on the North side. I've been biking there more often as spring has sprung and am amazed by the number of people that hang out in the parks along the river.

I've seen: some ladies plein aire painting. A traditionally dressed muslim couple pushing a stroller, followed shortly by a hasidic mother and son strolling too. An intense ultimate frisbee game. The most populated areas are playground areas, which have their own plaza type function. Kids play on the equipment while older brothers and sisters, muslim mothers, or whomever sit along the sides and gab.

Chicago - a city of plazas?

I love plazas. I love hanging out in plazas, spending time reading a book, or drinking coffee, or observing other people, or chatting with a friend.

I often associate the social and design elements of a good plaza with European cities, so I've never really thought of Chicago as a city with good plazas. But a walk around the Loop and along the Chicago River yesterday made me reconsider some of the great public spaces downtown.

As spring unfolds, more should be said about Chicago's plazas. And Miz M will say it! The Valve Blog will bring you some descriptions of local plazas, including descriptions of seating areas, plantings, water elements, how people use the plazas, and where they are located. So stay tuned -

Today I visited the plaza at the Board of Trade.
Things that make it nice:

• Working fountain
  
• Large number of orange and yellow tulips in many bench-type planter boxes, and a number of shade trees
  
• Signifcant width of plaza that lets sunlight into some areas
• Many people
• Relatively clean - no garbage in seating areas
  

Things that suck about it:

• Smokers
• People talking business on their cell phones
• People wearing those trader jackets
• Bench seats are not very comfortable for more than quick lunching
  

"You still a doll, you still a doll"

I was walking back from lunch today and a guy asked me if I felt like giving him some change. I was going to say no, but I had a dime in my pocket so I put it in his cup.

"Sorry, it's not a lot," I said.

"That's okay. You still a doll. You still a doll."

More sights on the Chicago River downtown

Some workmen working on the Civic Opera Building downtown...

Don't mess with this seagull!

Conan having lunch on the riverwalk!

Conan O'Brien and Mr. T canoeing on the Chicago River. Whoo!

Quote of the Day

"Nothing but honey is sweeter than money."
- Benjamin Franklin

Fridge Smellification Committee - A Workplace Necessity

I formed a Fridge Smellification Committee at my office. It's a committee of one. (Me.)

The FSC has total power and control over our office mini-fridge. Which isn't that great of a job because it really entails monitoring the fridge for nastiness, moldy leftovers, and expired milk. Also, the mini-fridge does not close, which causes the ice from the freezer to melt all over the other stuff in the fridge. Running the FSC is a thankless job, to be certain.

Because of the heinous state of our fridge, I took it upon myself to find another used fridge in the classified ads. I arranged to pick up the fridge, and pay $50 for it. Again, a pretty thankless job.

When I make the switch from heinous fridge to not-yet-heinous fridge, I've threatened my co-workers that I will throw their shit away. I wrote them in an email:

I will not transfer your stuff into the new fridge.

I will throw it away.

This includes all the little condiment things that are in there like peanut butter and mayo and dressing and whatever else including tupperware.

A coworker's wife took this to another level at her office, when it was her turn to clean the fridge. Her method was actually calling out the disgusting stuff that she had to throw away. Hilarious! See her text below:

I already threw out the following:

• very large take-out container with small 1 inch piece of tofu(?) - why did you save this?
• rotten CB tuna salad
• moldy rice&beans mix in a small quality tupperware (it is soaking on the sink if you want to claim it)
• mayonnaise jar (best before August 30, 2004) - please don't tell me someone was still using this, there is a perfectly fine one that only expired last week on the door. ;)

Here is what I found that I will probably pitch on Friday if it isn't claimed/labeled:

• small tupperware w/ white mystery sauce
• medium old-school tupperware w/ end of chili
• bag of organic salad mix (turning brown and slimy)
• 4 square sandwich size containers with respectively: 1 egg, 1/2 chicken breast, cooked veggie mix that is rotting, weird white slime, and meat/veggie/pasta leftovers.
• slimy ham in drawer - your sliced gouda is still ok, but I would eat it soon

Kiss this Carp - Fish Sampling in Plano, IL

A large-scaled ...something or other...

On Friday, I went fish sampling with a couple of great guys from the DNR. The way this worked was that the backpacks shown in the pictures carried a gas powered motor which ran an electric current down the poles (orange and yellow.) The electric current temporarily paralyzes the fish (about 10 minutes) so they stop swimming. One guy nets the fish when they are paralyzed, and puts them in the blue tub shown below. Once the guys sample the area, they count the fish they found, note the species, and mark some of the bigger fish.

Netting the fish

Filling the fish tub with water

Hipster Coffee Shops are the Worst Place to Eavesdrop

On Friday afternoon, I went to coffee shop for some chill-time, and to enjoy some jazz music, rain, coffee, and pleasure reading.

There were a lot of people in this coffee shop, and a lot of them were on laptops. What are they doing, I wondered. Maybe they are writers, writing stories about some intense emotional experience, or a fiery political piece about illegal immigration. But the imagination buck stopped there.

When I sat down, I overheard a really loud conversation between two girls about how one bought a bunch of clothes at American Apparel. The other one couldn't find a good pair of jeans for under $100. Boring! This conversation did not even provide enough material to fuel a good rant on hipsters. What a disappointment!

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a guy fuddling around. Is he knitting?! Awesome, a guy knitting in a hipster coffee shop! When I looked directly at him, he was actually only uncurling the cord of his earphones to plug it into his laptop.

Oh, well, I guess I got my chill time after all.

The Most Attentive CTA Employee There Is

There is an employee of the CTA who is at my morning stop everyday. In the seven or so months that I've been going to this stop, I've had my eye on the guy as a potential creep-ass. I've observed him several times doing the same odd thing. He will wait at the turnstiles just "checking" that everyone gets through the gates without any trouble. Often, he'll accompany a pretty office girl through the gates, up the stairs, and chat her up on the platform until the train comes.

The office girl is not always the same girl, but always the same type - Caucasian, late 20s, thin, long hair, well-dressed in office clothes, wearing stiletto heels.

Since I tend to have a wild imagination when it comes to public characters, I've refrained from judgment of Employee Creep-Ass. Until today.

Today there was only one CTA machine working. I was standing in front of it, fiddling in my purse to retrieve my CTA card and some money to pay my fare. While I'm doing this, I observe Employee Creep-Ass at his usual post, talking to a leggy blond in black and white stilettos, who has one of those pulley suitcase/briefcase things. Suddenly, he runs over to the CTA machine, budges in front of me, loads her card with two $1 bills, and runs over to put the fare card in the machine for her. Creep-Ass!

I think he's probably the most attentive CTA employee that ever worked for the joint. Maybe I'll write a letter requesting a promotion on his behalf.

Catharsis for Men

Or, catharsis for male actors, I should say.

Last night I went to see David Mamet's "Romance." "Romance" takes place in a courtroom and has an all male cast. About 80% of the play is these male characters yelling and screaming at each other, swearing and screaming, and using religious epithets and screaming. In a courtroom.

Mamet is renowned as a modern playwright, and I've been dying to see one of his plays. How does he capture "the modern man" as a contemporary American playwright? Apparently, as a really stressed out, sexually perverse, screaming person who is just trying to get through his work day.

I have to admit that it was mostly a cathartic experience to watch this play. It was better than watching drama or violence on T.V. because you could actually see the characters express anger - like red faces and a particular straining of the voice. And it wasn't emotional yelling, like the kind in some plays that have women in them, it was more like satisfying venting of anger at the external world.

But it did get a little old. I mean, characters can only exclaim "F*ck You" to each other a certain amount of times in dialogue before it becomes tedious and, well, a little unrealistic.

Those Hamburgers Would Come In Handy Right Now

I deftly avoided a run-in with Lulu this morning, my neighbors' terribly behaved dog. When Lulu started barking intensely, which she does anytime anyone as much as steps on a leaf in the yard, my neighbor said to Lulu in a little baby doggie voice, "Why do you hate Miz M so much, huh?"

As they say, there are no bad pets, just bad pet owners.
And bitches.

I really wonder why this neighbor thought it was appropriate to dump her dysfunctional passive-aggressive habits on her already f---ed up dog. Does the dog need anymore problems? Besides having terribly ineffective discipline, being left home all day, barking a lot, being afraid of all people, and being a fugly-ass pug mutt, does she need her owner to be an emotional idiot?

I wish dogs could talk.

Because if they could, I think Lulu might tell her owner that, in fact, she doesn't hate Miz M. Lulu would tell her how much she loves sniffing the garbage, how much she hates the postman, and how much she wants that bitch to prepare the tray of hamburgers that she promised back in November.

Your car is broke? Ask "The Millionaire"!

There is a particular coffee shop near my house that has extra-weird people working in it. I always have a slightly odd exchange with whomever is working there. There was a new barista there today, and while I was waiting in line, I overheard him talking to another woman customer.

She was relating the woes of her car being in the shop, and how she couldn't get her car out because she didn't have the money to pay for it.

He pointed his arm straight up to the sky, with his index finger extended and said,

"Ask the Millionaire."