Speed Dating?

I went speed dating last weekend.

Here are the highlights:

• I met over 20 guys from many different countries, from many different regions of the US, and from many different ethnic groups. Each "predate" was 3 minutes long, and I'm happy to report to the ladies that the majority of the eligible guys were totally fun to talk to and not unattractive.
  
• There were only 3 guys that I talked to who I would consider "oddballs," slightly frightening, who made a bad impression in our three minutes of heaven predate. Three out of 25? If those odds can be applied to the general public, those are pretty good odds!
  
• The most *unique* complement I received was that my teeth are "very-well aligned." Is saying, "You have a great smile," so hard???

Speed dating is a fun weekend activity to do with your single friends. But speed dating is not for the faint-hearted or self-conscious, and I think it's unlikely to generate a date. In addition, trying to charm all those fellas left my charms depleted for two long days!

See the kind-of funny Wikipedia definition of speed dating here. Make sure to read the theory about "sniffing out" a mate. Ew.

Stop Complaining, Ya Big Baby! Cheer Yourself Up!

Everywhere I go lately, everyone I talk to, every blog I read is full, full, full of people complaining. Well, just stop it you big baby!

Yes, you. I'm talking to you.

Granted, January and February are annoying and depressing, especially in the Midwest. It's part of the proverbial cross we all bear. But do you hear me complaing? No! (Except for you, Renoodle, I did complain to you today.)

When I feel crappy, I take myself to task and I cheer myself up. Goddammit, I'm not bothering you with my problems. If I don't feel like putting on a happy face, I stay home! I turn off my phone. I rearrange my furniture. I listen to music.
My top songs for cheering myself up this winter:

1. Kanye West, Touch the Sky
2. Earth, Wind, and Fire, Fantasy
3. Led Zepplin, Tangerine
4. Etta James, At Last

These may not work for you, but something will.
So do me and everyone around you a favor.
Stop complaining. Pull your attitude up by your own bootstraps.

Wind-Up Bird Chronicles

The Wind-Up Bird Chronicles is next in my book project. It superceded Aztec in order because I had borrowed it from a friend over the summer and wanted to give it one more try before I returned it.

Apparently, I like to read about 100 pages of a book, put it down, and pick it up several months later. I usually don't get into it for a long while, but luckily I don't totally abandon it.

Bird Chronicles is a really weird book - full of dreams, the surreal, and strange character confessionals. It's kind of perfect to read during these gloomy days. For several pages, the main hero, Mr. Okada, was sitting in the bottom of a well reflecting on things. This was after he heard a terrible story of a solider who was stuck in a well in Manchuria and lived to tell the tale.

Another strange theme in this book is finding one's true self. It is always a struggle, and it is not often pretty. I'm really interested in learning more about how much the themes and story lines are influenced by Japanese culture. Because the book creates a very odd and unsettling mood...

Dream of Wasp Queen

I had a dream last night that I was up in the attic of a house. There was a woman in the attic who was wearing a white muslin outfit. And she had a turban. There was a wasp or two flying around the attic, and I was dodging and weaving to avoid getting stung. I didn't get stung, but I looked under the cushions of the attic couch and saw many, many opaque wasp eggs waiting to hatch.

Ew! Just thinking about it gives me the willies.

Upon doing an internet search, this dream might mean:

1) That something is "bugging me." Har, har.
2) That I'm haboring angry thoughts.
3) Or, "that enemies will scourge and spitefully villify" me.

I have my fingers crossed that it's not #3!

I tried to find out what Freud would think, but the only search that related both "Freud", "dreams", and "wasps" were the White Anglo Saxon Protestant kind.

Darn.

My Local Neighborhood Mannequin

There's a "new age" store that opened relatively recently in my neighborhood. It's kind of an anomaly because it exists in the between a crappy Chicago sportswear store and a package shipping business - not exactly a high traffic area for people that want their auras read.

The store has a mannequin in the window that truly puzzles me. For the first few months, the mannequin was sitting in the window with a slightly tipped-back posture with one leg kind of kicked out, and one arm waving. She was wearing a red bra and some plaid boy short underwear for about three months. How that had anything to do with crystals, auras, or chakras was a mystery that I pondered almost every day.

In December, she was cloaked in a velour red Santa outfit.
I'm glad she was a little more bundled up, but honestly, the $4 Santa suit was not doing her or her chakras any favors such that I could tell.

In January, she is now wearing an African-inspired greenish cloak-dress that has some sequins. It fits much better with the store's atmosphere, but I still wonder... why did it take her so long to find the right outfit?

Enter the Movie Universe

I read an article on Salon that talked about this very issue. Stephanie Zacharek writes this in a movie review about Last Holiday:

"We take such pride in our sophistication as moviegoers, in our ability to call out every single marionette string in the moviemaking process, that sometimes we can barely bring ourselves to enter the universe of a movie -- the last thing we want is to seem silly or gullible. ("The plausibles," is what Hitchcock called viewers like that, the ones who always ask, "Why don't they go to the police?" Because then there wouldn't be a movie, he answered.) "

Kirk Cameron + Alyssa Milano = Awesome Relations

When I was younger (4th or 5th grade) I loved to write stories. In the stories, I always had a huge family with a lot of older brothers and sisters. And all of them were movie stars, except for a few girls that lived on my block.

Yes, it was the 80s and the hey-day of the family sitcom. The families on TV were people I believed in. In my my stories, Kirk Cameron would be my older brother, and he would be dating Alyssa Milano (from the "Who's the Boss" days when she was sassy and tough in a good way.) And Sarah Jessica Parker from the movie Girls Just Wanna Have Fun would be my older sister, and she'd be dating Scott Baio. And it went on and on like that, except that the only people that weren't in relationships were the youngest kids, which were me and my real-life neighbor "Molly Blane." After 5th or 6th grade, I no longer wrote these fantasy stories.


In high school and especially in college, I was one of those people who didn't watch any TV. I had the theory that I watched so much TV when I was a kid, that I had some "real life" to catch up on. It wasn't until last year that I started enjoying television again. And I don't have cable, so it's all network TV, which can actually be quite captivating.

Last night, I watched two hours of "South Beach" on UPN while I was repairing some jewelry. It was a show that I could love to hate because it was like that same pleasure center that my stories came from was again being stroked.

I mean: An ensemble cast of gorgeous characters get into glamorous trouble - but not too much - and totally date each other make each other jealous. There's even a cool mom played by Vanessa Williams.

The other ensemble cast that tweaked my old fantasies was the movie The Family Stone. Not only did it star my former older sister, Sarah Jessica, but many, many other famous people who are all dating someone or other in the movie. And the parents kind of totally rock and are important in the story and so on.

Watching television, even bad television, can be really emotionally satisfying.

Another beadation. I made a version of this necklace to give to each of my three aunts as a Christmas present from my dad.

Leslie and the Lys Show at the Beat Kitchen

I took these photos at the Leslie and the Lys show. Leslie is an amazing performer. To see her music video, click here.

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Leslie on stage

Leslie, my new hero!

Thunderhawk

Recently, I was out at a bar. I introduced myself to a tall, cute, bearded guy wearing a blue t-shirt, black sport coat, and those black indie-style glasses. He introduced himself as "Bart", or as his new *real* name "Thunderhawk."

"Thunderhorse?" I asked.

"No!" he exclaimed, "that's an insult in my culture. Thunderhawk. I got a message from God when I came out of the bathroom, and he said that I should be named Thunderhawk."

Now, as written above, I assume that this conversation has already delivered a red flag to the reader. You may be thinking, "Obviously, this Thunderhawk is absolutely bonkers." But, you see, this line of conversation was delivered in very cute, very tall, very dimpled packaging. Here are the reasons I gave this guy 5 more minutes of my time:

1) You really never know who you might meet, and what their background is.

2) I'm not locationally prejudiced enough to think that a spiritual message must absolutely be delivered in a traditionally spiritual place.

3) Who would say that as a joke?

So I tried to talk to Thunderhawk some more about his name, and about other spiritual matters. But eventually I realized he was just another white hipster attempting to be ironic or something.

And thus, "Thunderhawk" and his friend "Fluffy Pillow Hawk" walked into the night.

P.S. I am NOT "Fluffy Pillow Hawk."

A line to try this weekend....

What's a pretty girl like you doing in a place like this?
Damn girl, what's your sign?
Prozac? No, no Zoloft. Ain't it?*

*Courtesy of Pedestrian

More beadations...

Conclusion of P&P and the start of "Aztec"

Well, I finished P&P and I can see why a lot of women like the book.

Spoiler: the sassy, smart girl gets the tall, handsome rich guy 'cuz she refused to kiss his ass and he thus realized what a prick he was previously. Awesome!

My next book is Aztec, a Christmas gift and one of my brother's favorite books.

My Top Five of 2005

I was starting to feel like I missed the boat with the whole top five/top ten lists for 2005. So, just under the wire, here's my top five events of the year:

1. Hearing Antonio Pitingo, flamenco singer, at the Cultural Center
2. A gratis entrance to see the Rebirth Brass Band in New Orleans
3. Hosting a party for Oshun
4. Tapping into the Chicago lit scene (Dollar Store!)
5. Starting a blog

New Year's Resolutions, Short List:

1. Less drama/less gossip
2. Less drinking and more cultural activities

I capped off 2005 with a week of drinking and moderate debauchery - just what the doctor ordered before fully committing to both resolutions #1 and #2. Apparently, Johnny Cash calls it "feeding the black dog." Well, the dog has been fed. Plus dessert.

To further reinforce resolution #2, I went with some friends to the Green Mill, a Chicago jazz club, on December 30th. The billing was advertised as:

"The Yearly Battle of the Saxes with Fire-breathing Tenor Sax Stalwart Ed Petersen vs. Young Tenor Sax Phenom Frank Catalano."

Yeah, it was as awesome as it sounds!