Unblocked My Chi

There's a scene in the movie, Kung Fu Hustle, that I often think about when a personal tide takes a turn for the better. The main guy in the movie, who is kind of an extremely lucky f*ck-up, gets beat up by this kung fu villian, which also has the added bonus of unblocking his chi so that he can more readily access his true potential. After he unblocks his chi, he becomes tall and gorgeous and a fully-developed kung fu talent that he always knew he had, but couldn't reach. Even though the movie is a comedy, it really is a beautiful idea.

So I feel like I had a minor chi unblockage. I've been feeling down with all the transitions in my life, missing my support network, and greiving the recent exodus of Mr. D from my life. When I also got a soccer injury that limited my ability to get the gym or wear fun shoes, I was in the pits. So I was trying to tough it out at a play on Friday night, when I started to feel woozy and out-and-out fainted during the play. Yikes. I came to sitting on the floor (and yes, the show kept on) faced by a friend and a bunch of strangers trying to make me drink water and putting a soggy napkin on my forehead. Luckily, there was a nurse and an EMT (supposedly) in the audience, and they were able to take me out of the theater and cool me down. I revived and was ok, and then the EMT was totally trying to hit on me. What I didn't get, is what about that was hot exactly, as I was pale and sweaty after fainting. Maybe the vunerability? Or maybe I just made fainting look good?? It was weird. Anyway, the nurse and the EMT texted me later to make sure I was ok (I was) and the EMT offered to come over the next day to give me a foot massage. At first I thought that was weird (it was) but then I thought - if I'm going to go back to dating I better get to practicing a lil harmless flirting. After I was checked by a doc on Saturday (I'm fine), I realized that something about the experience helped me move forward in some way. The chi, unblocked?

Cathy 1 and Cathy 2

I joined a gym this week and it is actually wonderful. It gives me something to do and somewhere to go after work each day, instead of slugging it out at work and then going home to my television. I worked out yesterday, but next time I will remember my headphones as Cathy 1 and Cathy 2 almost buzzkilled my workout.

I was on one of the machines next to two girls who were obviously friends, or more likely, frenemies. They were the whiniest bitches I have seen in awhile, and some of their comments reminded me of the Cathy comic. Here are some snippets:

1) "I mean, I get my J Crew packages sent to my work, which I kind of feel guilty about, but hey - I need my khakis!!"

2) "So this pregnant woman at my work asked everyone at the staff meeting to stay home from work if they're sick because she's vuerable to illness. I was like, 'how about we call in to work if we're feeling sick and work can tell you to stay home.'"

3) "I was telling a new guy at work about my vacation days and he was like, 'I wish I had vacation days,' and I was like, 'I earned my vacation, ok? That's what happens your first year of work, you don't get vacation, ok?'"

3) "I hate this. I'm tired today. I hate this."

I mean, what Wisconsin puritans! The negativity pouring off these girls was disturbing. Then, during our workout an amazing rainbow appeared out the window. I'm serious. It was an incredibly vivid and beautiful rainbow. I looked around from side to side to see if the people around me would notice, and they didn't. So I said, "Cathys, see that rainbow."

What else could I do?