My Third Eye Opened

Last weekend I went with some of my family to Minnesota for my dad's uncle's funeral. It was surprisingly peaceful, at least for me. For one thing, it was a comfort to attend a funeral of an 89-year-old. It was sad, but his death wasn't unexpected, and it made so much more sense in the cycle of life than the last funeral I went to. Some of the grief from my friend Steph's funeral in June bubbled to the surface during this funeral too. In a strange way, it was healing to grieve over a more sensible death.

There was also the spirit of family nearby. I heard some old stories about my dad growing up, and his cousins growing up too. Some of the stories I had heard before, but some were new. It was a comfort to me that my dad is still close with his cousins, and it was nice to be "the kid" of the group.

Finally, I liked hearing stories of my great uncle and how he coped with the dis-ease and loneliness that can come in life. He filled his days with community and volunteer activities and cooking food like casseroles and rosettes for the ladies at the nursing home or the perpetual bachelor next door. He was no saint, and in fact, would be one of the first people to tell someone to "F*ck Off," if necessary. But I think that he kept from getting bored and kept life interesting by getting involved with other people around him. I feel that is a lesson I can take home right now in a time where I often feel lonely.

I Laughed Once Today

Things have settled down for me a bit. The automatic panic that I usually feel in the morning as I'm heading off for my commute is less pronounced. I have a better grip on my job (better than no grip, yes). I end up spending so much of my day related to work. The other time is sleep as I'm exhausted. The other time is reading "The Bourne Identity."

I did have one genuine laugh today at work. I also had one victory of getting a project done under the gun. That made me smile. A lot of my joyful time during the day lately has been related to driving around the rental cars that I've had to use this week to get to travel locations to work. I can sing out and feel the wind in my hair. For now, that's as good as it gets during the week.

I don't have any friends, yet. I almost had a social invite Sunday night but was out of town and I missed my invitation window. I have a potential friend that wants to go to a yoga class, but I haven't figured out how to work that in. Mainly I'm having a hard time planning social dates as I've felt really busy with work or too tired. Maybe I'll get a friend sometime soon. That would be sweet.

RE:juvenation

I know, I know. Awesome last post. So descriptive.

Honestly, the cat has had my tongue the past three weeks. Three weeks! I can't believe I've been three weeks at my new job. The time has flown by.

I went to Chicago this weekend to visit Mr. D and it was absolutely delightful. We had a friends brunch for his birthday on Saturday, and it was very fun and rejuvenating for me. It felt great to be among friends and eating good food (both things in short supply in my experience in Wisconsin so far.) I love my friends in Chicago - they are smart and weird and it was refreshing to spend time with them. As for Mr. D, after seeing some friends, we saw "Julie & Julia," went to Koreanfest, AND went out to dinner. We had a great time all around and laughed together and it was lovely.

One thing that came up while I was talking about my new life experience of late was my nosy landlord. He's not nosy with bad intentions but he does note my comings and goings. I paid my rent in cash this month and in a later conversation it became apparent that he had told some of his friends about that ("Ask Marta to buy your CD; she's flush with cash.") Another day, I got home at 9:45 p.m. on my bike and I noticed that he looked out the window and said to some guest of his, "Yep. She's coming home. 9:45 p.m." This is mostly funny as I sometimes note his comings and goings as well. A small town thing, I began to think. I thought about my great grandmother who used to note the comings and goings of a Greek family in her apartment building and how much zest it actually gave her life (even though she complained about it all the time.) However, when I talked to some of my friends in Chicago, it turned out that they know exactly who on their block is a spying landlord and who's pregnant and who just redid their house with a lot of money, etc. etc.

I guess it's just a human thing.