Southern Stroll/Heat Walk

I'm perfecting my "southern stroll" as one of my newly acquired southern traits. The southern stroll also known as the the "heat walk" is the way you walk when it is 100 degrees outside and you are walking home from class. You are wearing a sweater because it's so damn hot that if you just wore your backpack with your sundress, your backpack straps would make big ole red marks on your sweaty bare shoulders. So sunburn/backback-burn or extremely sweaty layers of clothes? Walking at a pace that is slower than... slower than... my god, molasses or Heinz ketchup in a glass bottle or a really high maintenance friend that needs to pluck her eyebrows 5 minutes before you all were scheduled to go out. Slow-ass slow is how you need to walk in this climate so you don't pass out on the sidewalk spilling all your gazillion papers on the street. And then sweating on them.