Perfumes Prohibited

I've completed my first week of classes and I'm about to launch into week two.
My first impression: I'm tired! All this walking around, cramming and skimming readings, and attending classes is busier than I thought.
My second impression: reading for a living can be a pretty sweet gig.

Most of the little annoying things of adjusting to a new place are rolling off my back with surprising ease.
The few that stick:

(1) Prohibition of fragrances and perfumes in my departmental library. I love to spray a bit of perfume on myself and I hate feeling like I cannot ask the librarian for references at 3 p.m. if I sprayed a little dab on at 8 a.m. I'm sure I sweat it off anyway, but I have a nagging fear of being berated at the circulation desk for smelling too good.

(2) The goddamn heat and humidity down here and the resulting personal sweating. I have definitely not acclimated to the climate yet. Big drips of sweat dripping down my face when I'm meeting new friends and colleagues? Pit stains when I raise my hand to participate in Economics class? Not cute!? Is it because I've lived through cold winters that I sweat the most in this town?! How long does it take for the body to adjust to the work of a sweat factory?

(3) The lack of a drug store or any useful convenience-type store on the town's main street. C'mon! Don't people ever need to buy tampons or bobby pins or shoe polish on their way home from class?! I was at a party and I said, "This town doesn't have any side streets." Man, I lost some friends over that one. "THIS TOWN HAS SIDE STREETS!" Planning parties are sweet.

BagThat Rocket

For those of you that don't read passiveaggressivenotes.com, you MUST MUST MUST at least check out this entry from August 20. Hilarious!

'Brows

I don't know why, but eyebrows keep coming up in conversation.

I was socializing with some colleagues this past weekend and I had a pretty fun conversation about eyebrows with a girl who I previously did not have that much in common with. Now we have had some great laughs about eyebrows.

Southern Stroll/Heat Walk

I'm perfecting my "southern stroll" as one of my newly acquired southern traits. The southern stroll also known as the the "heat walk" is the way you walk when it is 100 degrees outside and you are walking home from class. You are wearing a sweater because it's so damn hot that if you just wore your backpack with your sundress, your backpack straps would make big ole red marks on your sweaty bare shoulders. So sunburn/backback-burn or extremely sweaty layers of clothes? Walking at a pace that is slower than... slower than... my god, molasses or Heinz ketchup in a glass bottle or a really high maintenance friend that needs to pluck her eyebrows 5 minutes before you all were scheduled to go out. Slow-ass slow is how you need to walk in this climate so you don't pass out on the sidewalk spilling all your gazillion papers on the street. And then sweating on them.

Miz M's Gonna Like It Here

A week of school time activities has passed and I must say that I am in a good spot. The orientation meetings were not the most interesting but they did provide a lot of good information on all the resources that are available to students at the University. Damn! I love it and I think it is so exciting that all these people are here (and are paid) to help students succeed at their intellectual pursuits. It's awesome to be a student.

At one of the TA meetings, the professor (and others) were warning us that as graduate students we would be surrounded by brilliant people and that it would be very intimidating and high pressure. And I thought: bring it on! Not that I want to be competitive or that I'm looking forward to the pressure but I am really excited to be surrounded by "really smart people." I think it will be very stimulating and I am looking forward to that!

The past weekend was full of departmental social events and I enjoyed pretty much every minute of it. I know that it may never be like this again. I'm on the brink of starting something totally new, and I have met all these people that are in the same spot. Pretty much everyone that is interested in socializing is really nice and I met a lot of fun people to talk to. I talked with one woman for an hour about eyebrows, another guy about religion, another group about the Greyhound Ameripass, and many, many other interesting and fun conversations. It was fun to meet people, spy out some potential friends, and be on the cusp of a new intellectual adventure. I even enjoyed my trip to Target tonight and the curvy roads, tall trees, and setting sun. It was even kind of beautiful. As Annie said, "I think I'm gonna like it here."

Making In-Roads With the Right Kinda People

The last night that Mr. D was here, we went exploring for a nice place to have a drink. We found a cool bar that, in truth, looked very "Chicago/Wicker Park." It had red Christmas lights, saggy couches, a pool table, a real jukebox, and a plethora of hipster kids. We sat down at the bar and then we were asked for our membership number. Huh?! The bartender, Lee, told us that an "antiquated bible belt rule" dictated that we needed to be members of the social club to drink there. A "social club" is what they call a bar down here that DOES serve hard liquor and DOES NOT serve food.

It was not hard to become a member ($10 fee & disclosure of some personal information), and our guy promptly waived the three day waiting period and comped me my first drink. Haaay-yo! (Chicago bar, but a nicer North Carolina bartender!) When I discovered the Elvis pinball machine in the back, I knew I was making in-roads with the right people.

Quality Time Spent with Mr. D

For the past six days, Mr. D has been visiting. We have had a wonderful time together. I met his parents for the first time, and then his dad's whole side of the family who live in the area! Whoa! I also met his best childhood friend's sister and her husband who live around here too. Everyone was very nice, fun to be around, and it helped to ease the loneliness of this new place. Big friendly family people! Old friends! Time with Mr. D! What a comfort!

We also ate at Mama Dip's three times! And spent some lovely and relaxing days at the beach.

Code Word: Ma'am?

Okay, it turns out that only some people in south are friendly. Some are rude! Maybe this is similar to anywhere but I swear, it makes me wonder sometimes: is there some cultural password that I'm missing? I have considered that this password could be "sir" or "ma'am." I thought that these words were only used grudgingly by characters in Harry Potter. But it seems that people in the south actually use these words, like on the phone.

The first time I was called "ma'am," I'll admit, it was charming. But later I found myself having slightly rude-seeming conversations with people that I was trying to get to help me over the phone. "Did I do something wrong?" I thought. Perhaps throwing in a "sir" or "ma'am" here and there would really help me get on with the locals in the service sector. But I can't help but think it would just sound awkward as an addition to my vocabulary. It would seem more like an affectation if I said it. "Oh, thanks for the insurance quote...... MA'AM!!!!!!!!" And when I said "ma'am" my voice would crack or squawk. I think I can only start using these southern passwords alongside some other physical affectation, such as a feather boa (too hot), rhinestone cat glasses (too much) or a diamond-studded cigarette holder (perfect). Until I've scoured the thrift shops and estate sales to find this perfect "ma'am" cigarette holder, well, I guess I'll just have to use the well-worn verbal tools of the North: "Please" and "Thank You".

Thumbs Up/Thumbs Down of My New Town

Thumbs Up:
Wine selection and chocolate selection at foodie store: A Southern Season.

The campus is beautiful.

The people are southern-friendly and love to chat, which is completely charming.

Logistics, such as opening a bank account, or figuring how to hook up cable and internet, are very easy.

More trees and fresher air.


Thumbs Down:

Olive selection at foodie store: A Southern Season.

It's 100 degrees today, and is supposed to be 100 degrees all week.

Garbage is put out on the curb, and it really really stinks in the heat.

Streets are totally confusingly laid out, change names, and wind around.

Lots of bugs.

Fresher air benefit is obliterated by high heat and resulting ozone alert day.

A Mixed Bag

I made it to North Carolina and alive and well, only tired.

My first impressions? When I walked into my apartment I still liked it, and subsequently, when I left and returned, I liked it again and again. So, that's a good thing! I've been setting everything up, with the help of my parents and I'm pretty happy with how things are going.

On the other hand, it is weird to be in a college town again. I feel kind of old. 28? Damn. That feels old somehow. Where are all the peeps in their 30s at?!? Other complaints? I have a scratchy throat from all the "new" chemicals. New bed, new shower curtain. All that fire-resistant shit smells a little funny. Or, could it be allergies from the NC vegetation? Maybe I should vacuum my apartment again. Then again, my new bed is awesome and comfortable and has nothing to do with my current insomnia. And my new shower curtain has a zebra pattern on it. Let's hear it for the animal prints! What?! What!? Anyone...

One of the hardest things is getting around town. All the streets wind around and change names. The shopping centers have such lush vegetation and little signage that, though aesthetically pleasing, it is very difficult to tell which stores they contain. It makes the area conducive to just "knowing where everything is" rather than, like, figuring it out on the Chicago grid.

Insomnia Can Be Fun

Okay? Searching through the Internet this morning, I found this webiste. It offers a retouching service for baby photos. Daaaaaaaaaaamn! That stuff is C-R-A-Z-Y!

And hilarious.

http://www.naturalbeautiescontest.homestead.com/retouch4a.html

Introducing... "Da Cheek"

Insomnia strikes again! But what better time for blogging?

I'm a little nervous about my move. Everything is packed up and awaiting a transit vehicle. My apartment is clean. I'm just hoping to get my security deposit (small SNAFU) before I leave. Today I just need to finalize some errands (drop off stuff at good-will, maybe do a load of laundry.) Hopefully I'll do some relaxing stuff too - like ride my bike, read, take a nap, or watch some episdoes of "The Chappelle Show." Yo!

My right butt cheek/hip/lower back is aching/tense like crazy. You know how some people can "feel it in their bones" or can tell a rain coming by an achy arthritic elbow or whatever? Apparently, I can feel "it" in right my butt cheek a.k.a "Da Cheek". Though the possibilities for this are not endless, they are somewhat interesting. Could "Da Cheek" indicate an impending pop quiz in grad school? The proximity of a Krispy Kreme donut house from the highway? Tell a good location for water from a well? That psychic on Mallrats had her third nipple, I now have "Da Cheek."

No Boogie Man

I actually woke up happy today.

I can't say why I slept so well. Or why I woke up in such good spirits. Perhaps because I've reached the point of no return with packing up my apartment. Perhaps because I finally got a new bed for my new apartment. Or perhaps, because my family shared in a North Carolina-themed going away cake that I so desired. But I woke up today happy, and ready for this change in my life to occur.

She Whaled On Those Dishes

My apartment is officially a mess and there's no going back until the final cleaning! The good news is that packing has ensued and several boxes have been officially packed, sealed, and labeled. My friend Jess came over today and whaled on my dishes collection by wrapping it in lots and lots of newspaper. Thanks, Jess! Seriously, this woman can pack dishes into a box like a jigsaw puzzle of pretzels and cheese from the 1980s. It was a huge help to get this moving forward.

I also went to Hot Doug's for the first time today with Mr. D. I had a smoked crayfish and spiced pork hot dog. With shredded Monterrey Jack cheese. And a remoulade sauce. Yeeeeeow! It was A-MAZING!

Yesterday I got a massage which was also amazing. I released probably an entire six months of muscle tension, which apparently I've been keeping all in my butt muscles. There is something funny and also embarrassing about that. Needless to say, it felt good to be able to turn my head again after loosening my shoulder muscles as well. Just in time to lift a bunch of heavy boxes and place them into a moving truck in about a week. Sweet.

Shrimp Po' Boy

On Friday, I rode my bike the grocery store and bought ingredients for quick and easy Shrimp Po' Boy sandwiches. It was a recipe from Real Simple that I thought Mr. D would really enjoy (he did). Then I got home in time to watch the show, "The View." It was fun, but also scary how easy it was to slip into the life of a stay-at-home lady. Real Simple? The View? Yikes.

Today I went to the local public pool for outdoor lap swimming. It was lovely and I think getting some outdoor exercise, in addition to packing, will help me keep my sanity this week. I'm looking forward to this change which I know will be a really good thing in many ways, but I am also fraught with emotion. I'm so sad to be leaving the city where I have lived for 5 years, and my friends and family that live here. I know I can visit; I know I'll make new friends. But I will miss Mr. D and I'll miss my routine and I'll miss being a part of the network I've built here.

I think I should just rent a sad movie, have a good cry, and be done with it! Brokeback Mountain is supposed to be a tear-jerker...

Mary Tyler Moore Moment

As I left my work yesterday after 5 years at my job, shopping bags in hand (filled with files, pictures, and other stuff from my desk) I had to laugh with excitement. I even felt like kicking up my legs in some sort of bell kick. I felt a very Mary Tyler Moore moment - a young professional woman gracefully closes a door and starts off on a new adventure! Exciting!

Sweet, Sweet Ninjas

I have two days left of work - two days! I have been cleaning out my files and email and the desktop of my computer. I've worked at my job for 5 years, and it seems like a lot has happened during that time. Anyway, I thought I'd publish this email from a friend of mine that I used to email at work non-stop. It was right after one of the White Sox Games in the World Series and it made me laugh so much at the time. I wanted to archive it somehow, as part of email pals gone by.
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i am embarrassed to admit it, but i will cuz we bare all always: i did stop believin. a few times. in the 3rd, 5th, and 8th inning to be exact. i thought we were gonna out-and-out blow the World Series. and be the laughing stock of the sports world. i thought Journey was going to disown us, and we'd be left crying in our beers with only Nelson to donate one of their b-sides for our next theme song. but then something happened. something i shant soon forget. we won. and i started believing again. and again. it didn't stop til i as in the car this morning. i was listening to the radio, and a song distracted me to the point where i forgot to believe for a few seconds. but then i remembered to not stop believin', and that brings us up to right this second. i am believin' 100% even as i type every word of this email.

it feels nice to believe in something. something as pure and honest as a bunch of d-bags from all over the country representing Chicago, and using steroids and human growth hormones to cheat the system and win for me.

Friday the 13th - Rehabbed Purple Cars

I slept fitfully last night. You know, one of those nights where you wake up with your shirt twisted around one way, and the sheet twisted around the opposite way? I don't know if I have been watching too much Dr. Who, but my dreams were definitely bordering on the Sci-fi.

In one dream, there was a huge plastic bumblebee that was buzzing around my head. It stuck its big plastic stinger into my forehead to deposit a microchip (?) into my head. I couldn't get the bee to get out of my forehead until I woke up.

In another dream, I went to my landlord's house. In this dream, unlike in real life, he lived in the country. I walked up the driveway to his detached garage and there was a big purple car (from the 70s) that he was rehabbing. There were parts everywhere, and it looked totally obliterated, with parts all over the place. I walked around the garage and there were two more of these purple cars in the yard, both with the parts all over and everywhere. I never found my landlord, just these abandoned cars "in progress."

Mercury In Retrograde?

A few years ago I knew a woman named "Sage" who was a massage therapist. I knew Sage from some friends that were in performance art "bands," and I would see her around at different concerts and art events around town. One time I was chatting with her at a concert and it went something like this:

Sage: How ya doin'?
Miz M: Ugh, things have been so crazy lately!
Sage: Well, Mercury is in retrograde.
Miz M: Huh?!
Sage: It makes everything out of sorts.

I've since lost touch with Sage and her friends. But I still say that phrase all the time when things are going oddly wrong. If someone has a random miscommunication with a friend or coworker which is blown way out of proportion, my response is: "Maybe, Mercury is in retrograde?" Then I chuckle to myself. Ridiculous!

Mercury was recently in retrograde (June 16 - July 10). And, seriously, all kinds of that stuff was going wrong. My direct deposit didn't come through, a friend got money stolen out his account, another friend was charged for a hotel room three times at 5 times the rate. What's up, Mercury?

Reliable source, www.karmastrology.com sums it up when it says:

Retrograde Mercury is the most commonly known astrological signature for Murphy's Law ("If something can go wrong, it will"), and is one of the first features intermediate astrology students learn about. Say it to a seasoned astrologer and you'll likely get an amused smile and some delightful stories about how things can get quite unexpectedly unhinged.

Computers crash, software develops unexpected glitches, traffic jams ensue, telephone service snarls up, letters get lost on the mail, machinery breaks down, new projects fail. Ah, yes, the trickster Mercury is up to his old pranks again. In fact, at least three times a year for about three weeks each time Mercury has his way with us.

Common Sense for Pedestrians

I was riding my bike to work today and I cut through downtown to avoid the windy corridor of Oak Street and Taste of Chicago. It was a pain to bike through downtown because of all the stoplights, mostly. There was also an annoying pedestrian, a guy walking with his nose buried in the Wall Street Journal. In general, I don't have a problem with people walking and reading as long as they are will to be slow and kind of passive. In other words, they are fine as long as they follow the traffic signals and make it easy for people to go around them.

So I passed WSJ dude on my bike and then had to wait at a light. He proceeded to walk and stand directly in front of my bike at the street corner, only to begin reading his paper again. WTF?!

I had another similar issue with a pedestrian when I was visiting Chapel Hill last week. Some dude was standing on the street corner with his head buried in a map. The light turned green and there he was, buried in his map, not moving. I began to make a right turn, and lo and behold he stepped off the curb (not paying attention) and I had to swerve out of the way. "It's okay! I'll wait!" he yelled after my car angrily.

In these situations, both people have a responsibility to be attentive to their surroundings. Pedestrians certainly have the right-of-way, except when they are being total bozos and not paying attention.